WHAT MEN ARE SECRETLY THINKING (BUT COULD NEVER TELL YOU)

His name was Bradley Moore.

My 12th boyfriend. Tall, Light and Handsome – just how *I* like them.

We met at work and instantly clicked. He really liked Japanese food, 90′s cartoons and nights in watching documentaries on netflix. I was obsessed with Ramen Noodles (still am), and had just got broadband internet fast enough to watch Netflix.

Match made in heaven? Maybe not quite. But it sure felt right.

We started dating and would send each other Facebook messages when we should of been working. We hung out and our friends even started to meet each other’s friends.

Within a couple of months we’d booked a weekend trip away and things started to feel more and more serious.

There was that moment when I realized I loved this man and I even started to dream about what the future might hold for us.

Then…

It felt like it was out of the blue.

But he just started to become more distant. Our phone conversations regularly became shorter and shorter. He’d put less effort in to our usual long phone-calls. “I’m just tired” he would say.

We hadn’t argued and there was nothing “wrong” but something just stop feeling right.

I really loved him, I thought he loved me and I thought there was a serious future for us.

I always had trouble making him open up. He wasn’t one to gush his emotions. But without knowing what was “wrong” I didn’t know how to fix this gap. This distance and lack of reciprocity I was feeling from Bradley.

This wasn’t my first relationship to unexpectedly hit the rocks.

I’d many times thought to myself; if I could have a super-power I want the power to know what men are really thinking.

I’ve come a long way since those days.

Thankfully, I found the advice of a relationship guru called James Bauer. During the every-day work of his profession as a relationship counselor he stumbled across something profound.

HE DISCOVERED THE SURPRISING REASON WHY MEN ARE NOT COMMITTING TO YOU, AND HOW TO GET THEM TO COMMIT AND SAY YES.

It’s all founded in something we all already know. Men and Women fundamentally think differently. But, here’s the shocker:

JAMES BAEUR REALIZED THAT, AND CONFIRMED THROUGH RESEARCH, THAT MEN DO NOT WANT TO “BE LOVED” AS MUCH AS THEY NEED ONE OTHER SPECIFIC THING FROM A RELATIONSHIP.

It wasn’t my body. It wasn’t even my intelligence or sense of humor (I’m sure that helped a little bit, but not as much I’d like to think). He couldn’t actually tell me what it was he wanted. Not because he was embarrassed, or ashamed. But because he didn’t even know he needed this to be happy.

Once I realized that Bradley, and other Men like him, down right required from a relationship I was able to break down that wall of silence and distance that was starting to build up.

Chivalry really wasn’t dead. Bradley became the perfect gentleman. Opening doors, giving me his undivided attention, dressing up for dates, not even noticing other attractive women. I’d, without even realizing the power I now had, had turned Bradley in to a devoted and loving partner.

I turned a boyfriend in to a loving Husband. For two years this month, I’ve been Jessica Moore.
I have James Baeur to thank for that.