11 Ways to Make Doggy Style Even SEXIER

We like to think of doggy style as the original bad girl sex position. There's something a little wild, naughty, and titillating about it that just amps up the passion and makes you lust for more. Plus, it feels freaking amazing.   

"You can get the deepest penetration possible in this position, and you can also reach the G-spot," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Neurolovology. So if you're already a fan of this position, get ready to make it even more memorable. Here are 11 super-easy tweaks to raise the stakes: 

Get Vertical 
The classic doggy style set-up—kneeling on all fours—can feel great for a while, but eventually it may strain your body. "A lot of women complain that they get sore knees, or that it hurts their back or their neck," says Cadell. Fix that by getting off your knees and on your feet. Stand up and lean forward slightly against a wall, or bend over onto a table or a desk.  

Use Pillows   
Another surefire fix for rug burn on your knees: Prop yourself up with pillows, giving yourself a cushy foundation to rest on. Or lay completely flat on the bed and place a few pillows underneath your waist. This will create a great angle for him to enter you from behind, says Sadie Allison, Ph.D., author of The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris. 

Get Out of the Bedroom
The best part about doggy style is that it doesn't require a bed—you can have sex all over the house. Try it in the shower, standing on a staircase while holding onto the bannister, or leaning over the kitchen counter. "My favorite is bending over a dryer that's on the spin cycle, so it's like a giant vibrator," says Cadell.

Skip the Strip
For a take-me-right-now kind of romp, pull up your dress or skirt and push aside your underwear, says Cadell. We promise, every time you wear this outfit, you'll have very fond memories.  

Give Yourself a Hand
Using your fingers or a vibrator, stimulate your clitoris as your partner thrusts for a climax that's twice as powerful. In fact, this is one of the top ways to increase your orgasm chances during doggy style, says Allison. 

  Bring in the Nipples

If you like breast stimulation, doggy style is the perfect position to incorporate them, says Cadell. Grab your partner's hands and place them on your breasts. Then, by keeping your hands over his, you can show him exactly how you want him to fondle you. Think of this as naughty show and tell. 

Turn Up the Volume
During doggy style, "a lot of women feel more uninhibited because the guy can't see her face," explains Cadell. So let it go: Moan, grunt, talk dirty, and do all the things that you may be too shy to do in missionary position.  

Get a View 
Position yourself in front of a mirror so you and your partner can sneak a peak at each other from another angle, says Allison. And don't be surprised if it inspires you to put on a show. Toss your hair, arch your back a little more, and catch his eyes for a sultry look. 

Go Out of Bounds 
If you're into it, this is the easiest position to switch from vaginal sex to backdoor play, says Cadell. Just make sure to switch the condom to avoid infection, and if it's your first time, be sure to use plenty of lube and goslow.  

Make it Sensual
Who says doggy style has to be rough all the time? Make it a little more romantic by opting for a side-to-side position—like spooning—or getting into position in the bathtub, suggests Cadell. 

Take Control 
Though it sometimes seems like your partner is calling the shots in this position, there's plenty you can do to take the reins. Arching your back more or less will let you control the depth (arching less won't let him go as deep), says Alison. Or you can reach behind and grab his hips to help control the speed of his thrusts.  

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Free Hugs

In the summertime, opportunities to show skin at concerts are plentiful. Some visitors to events like Warped Tour and Electric Daisy use that opportunity to turn themselves into billboards declaring that they’re open for business, in a way—scrawled on their arms or midriffs is the term “FREE HUGS.” The prospect is pretty simple, and in the context of spendy festivals it’s alluring: People are willing to dole out embraces to any and all comers, for the princely sum of zero dollars. (More adventurous show-goers offer other tokens of affection, for the same price.)

Spotted as early as 1996 at a Phish show, “Free Hugs” didn’t become a thing until 2004. That year, an Australian who went by the name of Juan Mann (“one man”) was going through a depressive period until a stranger gave him a hug at a party. “I felt like a king!” Mann told an interviewer in 2006 when recalling that moment. On June 29 of that year, he decided to hang out at Pitt Street Mall, a pedestrian plaza in the middle of Sydney, and offer up his own services via a sign, since just going up to strangers and hugging them without introduction would, he correctly surmised, be “kind of creepy.” He doled out hugs until local authorities found the program creepy—yes, even with the sign—and told Mann that he needed an insurance policy if he was going to continue with his campaign. A petition signed by 10,000 people convinced them to relent, and Mann was allowed back on the streets.
Mann had become pals with Shimon Moore, lead singer of the Australian hard-rock band Sick Puppies, during the first two years of the Free Hugs campaign, and in 2005 Moore took video footage of Mann on the loose and eventually set the footage to his band’s grinding ballad “All the Same.” That clip was uploaded to a fledgling video-sharing site called YouTube, and its combination of good vibes and nu-metal riffing led to it accruing 250,000 views in its first few days online. The video eventually became one of the site’s earliest viral successes, eventually leading to the Free Hugs campaign making appearances on Oprah and in other media.
Almost as immediately as Free Hugs became a sensation, though, there was backlash—the Sharpied skin and signs became commodified, with bands at festivals like the emo-punk fest The Bamboozle offering free hugs in exchange for some nebulous show of support. In the 2007 Absolute Punk post “Free Hugs: The Scene Epidemic,” writer Anton Djamos snapped a photo of a “Free Hugs” sign and pointed out the contradiction at its center: “[This] showcases exactly what is wrong with free hugs nowadays … they’re not free … Want a free hug? Only if you promise to watch [the pop punk band] Patent Pending at 3:30 at the Mountain Dew Stage!”
Djamos’ post points to a problem with the way the Free Hugs campaign has evolved, particularly in the YouTube age; the idea of offering up free hugs sometimes seems to have become less about the action of the hug, and more about the process of getting attention for doling those hugs out. “The kind of person who’s attracted to partaking in the Free Hugs campaign is, I’m guessing, an extrovert—they’re not afraid to draw attention to themselves,” says Megan Seling, a music writer who’s covered Warped Tour. “And I’ve seen a lot of them become quite pushy when you don’t take them up on their offer. They’d act like you’re some kind of hug-hating monster, like their hug is part of the music festival experience and you’re a huge grouch if you don’t hug them. ‘C’mon, why don’t you want a hug? I don’t bite! Come get a hug!’ And that’s bullshit. I love hugs, just not from demanding, attention-grabbing weirdos who think they’re doing me a favor by offering up physical contact. You’re not entitled to free hugs just because you’re holding a cardboard sign.”

via Flickr user jessleecuizon (CC BY 2.0)

This year’s version of free-hugs-as-viral-video involved a guy touring marathons around the United States; Ken Nwadike was inspired to dole out hugs after failing to qualify for this year’s Boston Marathon, which had a built-in media spotlight because of the way the 2013 run ended in tragedy. The Boston video’s combination of a news peg and Upworthy-level shareability made it a hit, much to Nwadike’s elation: “This simple act made national news headlines and lifted runners’ spirits,” he wrote on his website. Note the order of outcomes, which implies a purpose. And pop stars also got in on the act: Louis Tomlinson of the British boy band One Direction offered “free hugs” to passersby while wearing a fat suit as part of each member disguising himself in public; his aggro approach provides an inversion of the “girls chasing after a boy band” ideal, although it also gives a predatory feel to the campaign.
Mann, too, got bit by others’ willingness to turn Free Hugs into an attention-getting scheme; in 2010, he told Business Insider that he hadn’t made a cent from the original video’s millions of YouTube streams, or from the merchandise that was sold via links on the video’s page (which are now inactive). In the early 2010s, this resulted in two websites claiming official rights to Free Hugs: FreeHugsCampaign.org, which claims to be the “official home of the Free Hugs campaign—inspired by Juan Mann, and Mann’s own web site, which trumpets itself as “the true home of the Free Hugs campaign.”
But Mann has not updated his site in three years, and he didn’t respond to our emails inviting him to share his thoughts on the sensation he spawned a decade ago. We only have his cheery, if ambiguous, anniversary note to Facebook, accompanied by the clip that originally attracted the world’s attention. “10 years ago on this day, I gave and received the very first Free Hug that would ignite a spark in a city, a country and the world,” Mann writes. “Thank you, my friends and family, for all the love, support and the millions of hugs over the years. Now let’s see what the next 10 years has in store for us all.”
Mann may be staying true to the altruistic aesthetic of his movement, even if that means destroying the ability to capitalize on it. It kind of makes you want to give him a hug.

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don't talk to me like that": 3 ways disrespect damages your relationship

Demeaning, criticizing, emasculating and cursing. Unfortunately, many of us have engaged in one of these activities with a spouse at one point or another. Contrary to popular belief (yes, that was a little sarcasm), these actions are completely inappropriate, terribly unacceptable, and extremely damaging to
a relationship's success.

I'm always amazed by the amount of people who seem to understand the gravity of the impact that this kind of language has on other human beings, yet continue to use these destructive communication strategies in heated (and even not-so-heated) interactions with their partners. For example, I know a couple where both parties consistently tell one another to "fuck off" when in an argument. Now I'm surely not the swear-word police (many have said that I curse like a sailor), but I have NEVER EVER said "fuck you" to Hus or told him to go fuck himself or anything remotely like that. I would never stoop to that level of disrespect with him. And he has never said anything that disrespectful to me. That kind of language is just not part of our relationship's vocabulary. Cursing around your partner is completely different from cursing at your partner. I just don't get how you can talk to your mate that way and get away with it. I don't know about you, but if Hus told me to go fuck myself every time we got into a disagreement, we would have a major problem (a problem that would likely be a deal-breaker in our marriage).

Using hurtful words with your spouse is not the only way to disrespect. Criticizing (most of us don't even realize we're doing it!), name-calling, interacting with members of the opposite sex in a way that you would not if your partner was present, using negative humor, threatening your partner or the status of your relationship, flirting with other people, giving ultimatums, belittling your partner's ideas/thoughts/beliefs, talking negatively about your partner behind his or her back, and bossing your partner around are more sure-fire ways to engage in disrespect. If you want your relationship or marriage to succeed, these negative behaviors need to be completely eliminated from your spousal interactions.

Still don't think these things are that big of a deal? Below are three consequences of disrespectful communication.

It can create the dreaded parent-child relationship.

Disrespect, especially emasculation and criticism, can easily cause one partner to take on the role of parent, leaving the other partner to become the child. Sadly, the media normalizes the parent-child relationship as typical in American marriages, with bossy, bitchy women controlling their dumb, child-like husbands. The media’s influence coupled with the pressure of traditional gender roles passed down from generation to generation causes many women to become mothers to their husbands and husbands to simply become an additional child for their wives to raise. Many of you are in this situation right now. And some of you are perfectly happy with taking charge and being the “single parent.” But I would venture to say that there are more of you who are not fine with the current status quo.  It’s okay. You can turn things around. Begin looking at your partner like the adult that he is. You didn’t marry him because he was a cute little kid who you wanted to take care of for the rest of your life. You married him (most likely) because he was a man who you fell in love with. And as a man, he needs to be treated like one. This means that you cannot do everything for him. Let go of the control. This also means that you cannot criticize the way that he does things. Shut your mouth. This also means that you cannot tell him what to do. He is a grown-ass man. He can figure out his own life. This also means that he needs to pull his own weight. Talk about household chores, child-raising duties, and errands. Divvy them up in a way that makes both of you happy. The bottom line: stop being your husband’s mother. You and I both know that you’re sick of it.

It can make your partner hate him or herself.

Research shows that criticism from a trusted and/or loved other breads self-hate in the target of the criticism. Whenever I think about this, it makes me terribly sad. For a human being to have that much control over how another human being sees him or herself is so upsetting to me. But many of us have no idea when we're engaging in criticism. There's a clear distinction between positive and negative communication here. For instance, complaining about a specific action your partner has done (“I can’t believe you didn’t do the dishes yesterday!”) is not criticism. Instead, criticism leaves the realm of the specific and attacks a person’s character (“You never to the dishes!”). Saying something like, “You never do the dishes” has several implications. It’s most likely not true that your partner NEVER does this dishes. But by you saying that, you partner might infer that you think he or she is lazy, good-for-nothing, or even worthless. When you use terms like “always” or “never” to describe a person’s behavior, it’s criticism. Eliminating these words from your vocabulary is one of the best ways to avoid being critical, learn to effectively complain, and steer clear of breeding self-hate in the person you love. 

It can end your relationship.

While some of you out there will put up with disrespect for one reason or another, most of us (including me!) will not. And let me add that nobody should have to put up with it. There isn’t a person out there who is worth it. The end.

Overall, it is vital that no matter how agitated, angry, or pissed off you get, you avoid disrespecting your spouse at all costs. This is what mature love is about. And always remember that your partner has feelings (we all do). Speak to him or her as if you are being considerate of them.

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we need to talk": 11 topics to discuss before baby makes three

The nine months leading up to the birth of your first baby are filled with excitement, anticipation, and for many, immense anxiety (hell, you'll experience these feelings with all of your pregnancies). There's so much to prepare for, worry about, and acquire (babies need a ton of stuff!) before your bundle of joy makes an appearance. And after he or she is welcomed into the world, your life becomes consumed by this new little person. All of your time and energy is put towards caring for, thinking about, and just loving your new baby. During the first few months (and maybe even years), many people will fail to put in the work needed to keep their relationship with their spouse afloat. It won't be intentional, just a unconscious (and totally normal) response to adding a new, helpless, attention-draining person to your family. Unfortunately, this will create a good amount of conflict between you and your partner. 

But there is hope! Many of the little tiffs, moderate disagreements, and seemingly relationship-ending screaming matches during this time will be brought on by things that could have been avoided if you and your partner spent a little more time talking about the challenges that parenthood inevitably brings prior to becoming parents. The key is to get the conversation about these things started while you're pregnant and then keep the lines of communication open well after baby makes three. 

Not sure what to discuss? Below are 11 topics to bring up in those short nine months before your world is turned upside down (don't worry- it's not that bad) so that you can make your post-baby life a hell of a lot easier (believe me, you're going to need all of the help you can get). In addition, I split the topics up into "serious" things and "fun" things so you're not talking about such heavy subjects all of the time. I've also given you a few resources for each topic. Choose a topic, read the articles separately, and then come together to share your thoughts on the subject. You could spend anywhere from a few minutes to a few weeks discussing each talking point. However you decide to do it, having these conversations will help you and your partner avoid some of the typical post-baby conflict.

Here are some serious things:

• Childcare. What are your thoughts on childcare? Do you want to have one parent stay home or will both of you work? If you take the stay-at-home route, who will fulfill that role and for how long (some families will return to dual-income households after all children have started kindergarten)? If you decide to both work, do you want an in-home nanny, a family member, a daycare in an individual's home, or a childcare center caring for your child? How are you going to pay for childcare? Conversation Resources: Click HERE and HERE to read articles that compare the typical childcare options.
• Nursing. Do you want to breast feed? If yes and everything works out (many women have a lot of trouble in this area- including me with our twins), how long do you want to nurse (a few weeks, months, or years)? When do you think you'll start introducing bottles (either of breast milk or formula) so that your significant other can also feed the baby? Conversation Resources: Check out these articles (HERE and HERE) about the pros and cons of breast feeding.
• Chores. How do you want to divvy up the daily chores that come with having a newborn? For instance, I nurse our newborn boy as much as possible (he gets a bottle of breast milk about once a day) and so if Hus and I are together, Hus will change our newborn's diaper and burp him when I'm done nursing him. This helps us balance the workload in that area. You should also re-evaluate the regular daily household chores. If you're nursing, you will be unavailable a lot during the day, so your significant other may have to pick up more of your chores during the first few months so that you both don't loose your sanity due to a messy house. Talk about your household chores and all of the new chores you anticipate having with a new baby and discuss how you plan to divide them. Conversation Resources: Take a look at these articles (HERE and HERE) about post-baby chores and how to divide them.
• Discipline. What are your thoughts on discipline? Do you believe in spanking, time-out, logical reasoning, or some kind of combination? How old do you think discipline can or should begin? I can't tell you how many couples I know who argue about this. One parent thinks the other one is too tough, while the other parent thinks his/her spouse is too lenient. Being on the same team with discipline is one of the best things you can do for your child. Talk about how you plan to deal with certain behavioral problems and try to come to a consensus about things. For example, Hus and I try to clearly state the rules about different situations before any rules are broken so that our twins are clear about what they should be doing. We also use time-out and logical reasoning when our kids break the rules (which seems like several hundred times a day).  Talk about it now and then remember to continuously talk about discipline as your children get older. And try your hardest to avoid criticizing how your partner disciplines your children (especially in front of said children). If you have a problem with what your partner is doing, have a private discussion with them later, when you're both calm. Keeping the lines of communication open here is very important. Conversation Resources: Click HERE for more information on discipline.
• Adjusting. How do you plan to cope with the major adjustment you will need to make when baby arrives? Having a new baby changes everything. Your routine, date nights, and conversation topics will all change. Probably the most difficult things to deal with are the lack of sleep, intimacy, and free time you and your mate will experience. While you can't do much to avoid these things, recognizing that they will happen is half the battle. Talk about how you plan  deal with sleeping. Maybe only one of you is going to wake up in the night (this will likely be the case if you are exclusively breast feeding), or maybe you're going to switch back and forth every other night, or maybe you're going to split the night in half (Hus and I did this with our twins- he took care of them before 2am and I took care of them after 2am), or maybe you're both going to wake up through out the night and split up the duties at each feeding/changing (for instance, one of you might feed baby while the other might change baby's diaper). As for intimacy, you're going to have to work really hard at this one. Continue to talk to one another after baby arrives (this may seem obvious, but I can't tell you how easy it is to forget to talk to each other; especially when all that you want to do is be with your new precious baby). Express your love and appreciation to your spouse on a daily basis. And compliment your partner when he or she does anything worthy of praise. When it comes to a lack of physical intimacy, it might not be such a bad time to start scheduling sex (after the first six weeks of course). You both will feel so over-worked and over-tired in those first few months that sex will be one of the last things on your mind and/or your partner's mind. And, sex is important! Don't let your sex life be a casualty of having a baby. Conversation Resources: Click HERE and HERE to read articles about adjusting to becoming new parents and HERE to read more about adjusting to motherhood the first, second, and third time around. Also, HERE is a post I wrote about scheduling sex and HERE is a post I wrote about the importance of an active and satisfying sex life.

And here are a few fun things:

• Dating. Dating is going to be different when you have a baby, but it's very important that you make time for one another. With a new baby around, it is difficult (and expensive!) to get away. One of the best ways to solve this problem is to have date nights at home. You could watch a movie, get dressed up for a candle-lit dinner, dance in your living room, have another couple over for a double-date, or share fondue. Talk about three new date nights you could have. What can you do at home? How can you make an at-home date night special? How often would you like to commit to at-home date nights (one a week, bi-monthly, or monthly)? Conversation Resources: Check out a few stay-at-home date ideas HERE, HERE, and HERE.
• Names. Figuring out what you're going to name your little peanut is probably one of the more fun things to do- at least it is for us! I absolutely love talking about names with Hus (even when we're not pregnant!). Make a list of names you each like (first and middle) and compare. Do you want to have family names? Do you want all of your children to have similar names (either by first letter or sound)? You also need to talk about if you're going to share your names choices with family and friends. The benefit of doing this is that you don't have to keep it a secret (it's hard!), but the downside is that everyone has an opinion and you may not want to hear them. Conversation Resources: HERE's a link to my all-time favorite baby-naming website (the NameVoyager and NameMapper sections are awesome). HERE's another fun site- one of my friends actually named her daughter the third option she was given! I just love everything about these two sites.
• Old traditions. Think back your childhood (and have your partner do the same). What was a family tradition or fun activity you did as a child that you want to do with your own child? Why did you like doing this as a kid? Would you like to do this activity monthly, yearly, or something else? Reminiscing about happy memories from your childhood is a great way to grow closer as a couple and it's fun to talk about fun things in your future together. And, family traditions help children feel included and loved, which is always a good thing. Conversation Resources: I don't really have any resources here. Just think back over your past and have fun sharing with your spouse.
• New traditions. As I already noted, family traditions are great. And while passing down traditions from generation to generation is good, starting your own makes your nuclear family special. Talk about creating a new tradition for your new little family. Think of something that you or your partner did not do as children. For instance, Hus and I started a Christmas Tree tradition with our kids where each year, the kiddos get to pick the color of the tree the following year. Then after Christmas, we all go shopping in the clearance racks for the following year's color(s). We put all of the stuff in a box and then wait until the following year to decorate the tree. It's fun because our tree looks a little different each year and who doesn't love shopping in the clearance aisle! Conversation Resources: Click HERE, HERE, and HERE to read about how to create family traditions.
• Love Lists. I've written several posts about the importance of writing spousal love letters or love lists (see HERE and HERE). This time, I want you to make a list about why you think your partner will be a good parent. Just write down ten reasons. And share these reasons with your spouse sometime in the final weeks of your pregnancy (maybe on your last date night before baby). Conversation Resources: See my past posts HERE and HERE about this topic.
• Promise Lists. Make a promise list (similar to wedding vows) of things you will try your hardest to do and not do when baby arrives. For instance, "I promise to ask for help before I become overwhelmed and agitated" or "I promise to make requests instead of demands." Read them to each other prior to baby's arrival and return to them several times after baby is born. You might even want to hang them on a wall in your house so that you can both remember your promises to each other.  Conversation Resources: Read this great article about pre-conception vows.

I know, having a baby is supposed to be an incredibly joyous time in your life. And it is. Well, most of it. To make those happy moments more abundant, have these discussions prior to your little bundle arriving. Because as you will soon find out, EVERYTHING is easier before baby makes three

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A night i will never forget

The rain gently falling through an open window, in which our heads hung out. Bare skin molding together to form a connection. A guitar, a joint, and a night I will never forget. His bed where our faces lay had a window to where the faint rainfall kissed us. This was an ongoing fling we had, occasional nights in which we’d call each other and spend the night together. It was something about this one night in particular, was it the white occasional, was it the open window with the starry sky staring back at me, or was it the way he sang “Skinny Love” to me while I just soaked it all in. It honestly felt like I was in an indie film scene, as lame as that sounds. It was so delicate, everything about it. I still remember the way my smile was plastered on my face, I was so god damn happy. It was so perfect in that moment, I hope it was as special for him as it was for me. I know it was just another one of those nights we had, but it was special, it really was. I live miles and miles away from him, and life keeps moving, but I'm so happy I had this night with him.

xx, time to move on

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why does he love me?

I’m so frustrated with where we’re at. He loves me, or so he says. Last night, before hanging up he said, “I’m saying it because I mean it: I love you.”

Is it bad that I want to know why? Why does he love me? We haven’t even been together in person. And while I know that isn’t everything, I want to know what he sees. Maybe I’m just pretty and decently funny. And I can understand that, until he tells me he wants to marry me. Why would he want to marry me? What could he possibly see in me that would make him think he wants to spend his life with me? Maybe I just don’t see it in myself.

As soon as we get back into everything, I get back to missing him. Every minute of every hour of every day. I hate missing him. I know I don’t act dependent, but I hate even slightly feeling so. I’m independent. I’m busy. I’m focused. Not a love-sick lonely girl longing to hear his voice. That can’t be me.

And then he calls, or maybe I do. And I’m giddy when I hear his voice and when I make him laugh, which I usually do. He makes jokes and I try not to over-laugh because I don’t want to seem too giggly. But his voice makes me feel like I’m safe and, better yet, happy. He says I’m beautiful a time or two, and I always melt because he always says it like it’s factual and obvious. I don’t want to hang up. I just want to be in the same place at the same time, and if that time could be right this second, that would be magical. Because he’s all I want.

And then he tells me he loves me. And I say it back. And we hang up.

I’m frustrated and confused and happy and I can’t stop smiling; it’s involuntary. I wish I could control it, or even understand it. But I can’t and I don’t. All I know is that I heard his voice for thirty seconds today, and that wasn’t enough. In those thirty seconds he told me he loved me twice and I haven’t stopped missing him since

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WHAT MEN ARE SECRETLY THINKING (BUT COULD NEVER TELL YOU)

His name was Bradley Moore.

My 12th boyfriend. Tall, Light and Handsome – just how *I* like them.

We met at work and instantly clicked. He really liked Japanese food, 90′s cartoons and nights in watching documentaries on netflix. I was obsessed with Ramen Noodles (still am), and had just got broadband internet fast enough to watch Netflix.

Match made in heaven? Maybe not quite. But it sure felt right.

We started dating and would send each other Facebook messages when we should of been working. We hung out and our friends even started to meet each other’s friends.

Within a couple of months we’d booked a weekend trip away and things started to feel more and more serious.

There was that moment when I realized I loved this man and I even started to dream about what the future might hold for us.

Then…

It felt like it was out of the blue.

But he just started to become more distant. Our phone conversations regularly became shorter and shorter. He’d put less effort in to our usual long phone-calls. “I’m just tired” he would say.

We hadn’t argued and there was nothing “wrong” but something just stop feeling right.

I really loved him, I thought he loved me and I thought there was a serious future for us.

I always had trouble making him open up. He wasn’t one to gush his emotions. But without knowing what was “wrong” I didn’t know how to fix this gap. This distance and lack of reciprocity I was feeling from Bradley.

This wasn’t my first relationship to unexpectedly hit the rocks.

I’d many times thought to myself; if I could have a super-power I want the power to know what men are really thinking.

I’ve come a long way since those days.

Thankfully, I found the advice of a relationship guru called James Bauer. During the every-day work of his profession as a relationship counselor he stumbled across something profound.

HE DISCOVERED THE SURPRISING REASON WHY MEN ARE NOT COMMITTING TO YOU, AND HOW TO GET THEM TO COMMIT AND SAY YES.

It’s all founded in something we all already know. Men and Women fundamentally think differently. But, here’s the shocker:

JAMES BAEUR REALIZED THAT, AND CONFIRMED THROUGH RESEARCH, THAT MEN DO NOT WANT TO “BE LOVED” AS MUCH AS THEY NEED ONE OTHER SPECIFIC THING FROM A RELATIONSHIP.

It wasn’t my body. It wasn’t even my intelligence or sense of humor (I’m sure that helped a little bit, but not as much I’d like to think). He couldn’t actually tell me what it was he wanted. Not because he was embarrassed, or ashamed. But because he didn’t even know he needed this to be happy.

Once I realized that Bradley, and other Men like him, down right required from a relationship I was able to break down that wall of silence and distance that was starting to build up.

Chivalry really wasn’t dead. Bradley became the perfect gentleman. Opening doors, giving me his undivided attention, dressing up for dates, not even noticing other attractive women. I’d, without even realizing the power I now had, had turned Bradley in to a devoted and loving partner.

I turned a boyfriend in to a loving Husband. For two years this month, I’ve been Jessica Moore.
I have James Baeur to thank for that.

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WHY SHE STOPPED REPLYING TO YOUR TEXTS

In the past there was one thing that really crippled me with women. Often times I’d meet a girl and things would go fantastic, we’d laugh, share some great anecdotes, and then I’d get her number. I think everything is going to go my way, but soon enough I never hear back from her. She goes from responding in seconds, to taking a few hours to respond, to completely disappearing. It’s something that I was able to relate to with so many of my friends, and it was one colossal point of frustration in my life. Often times I just wanted to chug a gallon of vodka, go out and bang the first chubby hooker that I made eye contact with.

What Was Going On in My Head?

I thought she liked me. Why isn’t she acting the same way she used to with me? What did I do? Did I say something to offend her over text? I just had no idea, and it made me really question myself. Hell sometimes I just thought “maybe I should just start banging dudes…that might be easier”. I never acted on these thoughts despite how often it crossed my mind. Instead I tried to figure out a solution.

How To Become A Badass With Women

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How Was I Fucking It Up

It was frustrating for me to see what could potentially be great experiences with a girl fade away. A few years back I met a good friend of mine named Race de Priest. Not too long after I met him he started on a book on how to text women. I was fortunate enough to be one of the first people to read his book, and I came to many realizations afterwards.
The biggest was how I transformed through text. One of reasons I was able to meet women with success in public places like bars, clubs, or even coffee shops was because of the way I presented myself. I came across as very playful, confident, and non-needy. Then I’d get the number and for some reason I would think to myself that the hard part is done. I thought to myself “ok I have her number, now all I need to do is get her in bed, and hump my way into her heart and I’ll be set”. But usually what happened was that my persona would completely change after I got her number, and it was something that I didn’t even realize I was doing.
From viewing movies all my life I would see guys get a girl’s number and rejoice like they’ve just had an orgy with every Victoria Secret’s Angel alive. To them it was such a big deal, and I too thought getting the number was such a huge accomplishment, when in reality it wasn’t even half the battle. At best it was less than 10 percent of the battle. So when I would text a girl I would get worried if she didn’t reply right away, I would start overthinking things and all the worst scenarios would pop into my head. Next thing I know I send out another text and another and only five minutes have passed by since I received the first text. To her I seemed like a clingy girl with marriage and children on my mind, and I was soon filtered out of her life as a man who had any chance of doing unholy things to her and her vagina.
I looked needy, and desperate. Despite being funny and playful in person I would ruin things over text, and the reason was a lack of congruency. Over text I wasn’t congruent to who I was in person. In person I was confident and funny, over text I was like a mentally handicapped chimp who was constantly seeking attention.
The same situation could be reversed. If I were to meet a girl off of an online dating site, and I seem awesome over text and over the internet, but then when we met if I happen to be completely a different person things would go south real quick.

How To Become A Badass With Women

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How Did I Fix This

The solution was far simpler than I imagined. I just had to be more like myself over text. One of the best tips I learned about texting was to simply send a text, and forget it. After sending it, I kept myself busy with something else, so that my mind wasn’t focused on the BING that my phone made when I receive a new text. In the past I would send a text message and just stare at my phone like a stoner staring into a vacant fridge hoping for food to appear.
Not only that, but I played it too safe over text in the past. In person I unapologetically spouted sexual innuendos like a perverted middle school student in front of his close friends. In person I just said whatever was on my mind, and was unapologetic about it, whereas over text I completely pussied out when it came to being bold. I would start to type something, overthink, and end up deleting everything that I had just written like an indecisive teenage girl who can’t pick out a dress at the mall. In the end I would go with the safest response I could think of, and of course it was fucking boring.
After adjusting my attitude about texting, girls texted back often, and with enthusiasm. Some simple tips I can give you to improve this aspect of your dating life now are:

Be bold, but not an asshole.

Try to keep things on an even field when it comes to the length of time you take to text her, and how long your texts are.
Be more descriptive in the language you use when texting. There’s a reason 50 Shades a Grey is a national best seller, the language used puts a clear image in a woman’s mind.
Occupy yourself after you send a text, or else you will go insane waiting for a girl to text you back as you stare blankly at your phone waiting for it to vibrate.
Don’t overthink things. If you start thinking “It’s been an hour, why the fuck hasn’t she texted back!” You will want to chop off your own arm.
Changing the way you think when it comes to texting a women will help you out greatly. Here are just a few tips to get you on the right track, and having girl’s text YOU constantly

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SHE DID THIS TO TRIGGER PLEASURE HORMONES IN HIM

Have you ever seen a guy at a casino who just can’t stop gambling even though he keeps losing money? Why is he doing that? He logically knows that he is losing money, and can even go completely broke if he continues, yet he simply can’t stop himself.

Why is this?

This is because during gambling, a man’s system experiences a heavy surge of hormones commonly known as the pleasure hormones. They are so addictive that a person forgets all logic and keeps going in the direction of their goal.
The good news is that you can trigger these same pleasure hormones in a man’s body, and make him feel almost an uncontrollable addiction towards you. Whenever he will be around you, he will only experience emotions such as – Love, attraction, excitement and will even find himself wanting, needing and craving your love, like a little kid craves it from his mother.
He will squirm with this strong inner desire for you, which will send a jolt of blood rushing through his body that will force him to feel an almost biologically driven desire for you.
He will constantly be emotionally hungry and you will be his fix, you will become the source of his emotional fulfillment. Without you he will be like fish without water. In fact, just doing this one thing alone will make him fixate on you so deeply, that no other woman will be able to satisfy this intense inner urge he will experience, and as a result he will have no other woman to go to, but you.
He will subconsciously feel urges to do nice things for you; in fact, he will get a lot of pleasure out of making you happy.
And not only this – You will become so important to him, that he will feel like you’re 100 times more interesting, in comparison to any other woman out there.

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3 REASONS YOU AREN’T GETTING THE KISS ON THE 1ST DATE

You’re Not Touching Enough

I’ve taught many guys who have a hard time getting down the concept of touching women that they’re interested in. It’s most likely because you’re raised thinking you should keep your hands to yourself. Then again I was also raised believing that you’re only allowed to urinate in bathrooms, yet I’ve marked my territory in every New York City phone booth I’ve encountered. So sometimes the things you’re taught as a kid are complete bullshit?
If you have ever been rejected for a kiss it’s most likely because you haven’t touched enough. If you kept your hands to yourself all night, and then suddenly try to get a kiss, you’re going to come off too strong. It makes you seem like that creepy cousin at the Christmas Eve party who collects insects, and smells funny, who is quite all night, but after a few drinks he has his arm around you, telling you how much he loves you and that you two should hang out more often.
So do yourself and your date a favor, start touching more.

How To Become A Badass With Women

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The Date Spot

According to romance movies the ideal first date is dinner and a movie. Then again according to romance movies it’s completely acceptable to wait outside a girls window and watch her sleep, so is pretty much any other form of stalking. But in reality if you text a woman too much she’ll be turned off, and if you watch her sleep from a tree outside her window you’ll probably end up sodomized in your friendly local state penitentiary.
So if you take a girl for dinner and a movie on the first date, you’re most likely going to be spending a ton of money and end up going nowhere. Conor likes to take girls to happy hour at his favorite bar, and I like to take girls on picnics, and usually end up spending about twenty bucks.
You should be doing what you like to do, and not what you think you should be doing. Because what you think you should be doing probably hasn’t been working out too well.

You’re NOT Talking About Sex on the First Date

My mom used to tell me it was rude to talk about sex with a woman, unless you guys were exclusively dating. And I’m sure many mothers have told many children the same thing, because “that’s not what gentlemen do”. Just because I would do consensually unholy things to a woman and her vagina in a public bathroom, doesn’t mean I won’t hold the door for her after we’re done. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be rude. As a matter of fact have you ever met anyone who doesn’t like sex? So why wouldn’t someone want to talk about it?
If you transition the conversation in a matter that makes sense no one will be offended for talking about sex. If she’s talking about her recently deceased dog, and you say “Interesting…did you lose your virginity before or after you got your puppy” then it’ll just seem like you’re an idiot. So guys don’t be afraid to talk about sex, everyone likes talking about sex in the right setting.

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THIS DATING GURU HAS SOMETHING SHOCKING ABOUT WOMEN TO TELL YOU

Josh Pellicer’s video tells the story of how while sleeping in his car like a hobo at the demand of his “ice queen” ex-girlfriend he, in a moment of sleep-deprived genius, stumbled across the psychological secret to attraction.
The Tao of Badass is the most infamous guide to ever hit the internet. A bold claim, I know. But thousand of men have read, studied and successfully put the strategies in to action. It’s a bold and daring instructional tool kit that teaches any man, regardless of looks or income level, how to seduce attractive women.
His secret skill can be described in just two words. It will make women fall over themselves to be with you. And the Tao of Badass will teach you how to “fake it until you make it” (Hint: It’s in the video).

WARNING: THIS VIDEO WILL GIVE YOU
AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE.

“ONE OF THE MOST SOCIALLY SAVVY AND ENGAGING MEN I KNOW, JOSHUA PELLICER COULD MAKE FRIENDS WITH A HUNGRY FEMALE T-REX SUFFERING FROM PMS”
- ALEX ALLMAN, AUTHOR OF SEXUAL MASTER

Tao of Badass was written by Josh Pellicer a well known dating expert who built his system from years of trial and error with thousands of men.
After countless field testing; he developed what many claim is the perfect seduction system.

How Does This System Work?

The most fundamentally important aspect of this guide is it’s ability to change the way you look at women and boost your confidence.
But confidence is nothing without competence. So you’ll learn a deep knowledge of things like:

• How to develop the Badass attitude.
• How to avoid the 3 common mistakes that kill a conversation.
• How to quickly make a woman open up so you can just sit back and let the conversation develop.
• How to identify and understand the non-verbal “leaks” women give off subconsciously.
• The “universal formula” to escalate from “hello” to “goodbye” the next morning.

This is not a guide of crappy pick-up lines, this is a toolkit that teaches you step-by-step strategies for opening, escalating to attraction and closing (i.e phone number, date, hookup).
The Tao of Badass teaches you how to embody your masculinity and channel that in to a method of attracting women.
You’re going to learn:

• 10 common mistakes you are making that instantly turn women off.
• How the way you are sitting in a bar is keeping that girl away.
• 7 little mind tricks that make a woman text you none stop.
• The real reason women are attracted to rich men and you’re going to learn to replicate that without the money.
• The number 1 way to avoid the friend zone (and how to escape it if you’re already there).

Josh Pellicer’s video tells the story of how while sleeping in his car like hobo at the demand of his “ice queen” ex-girlfriend he, in a moment of sleep-deprived genius, stumbled across the psychological secret to attraction. Watch his story:

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